Let’s Talk About the F-Word No One Likes to Mention
Failure. What were you thinking? Get your minds out of the gutter. We’ve all felt the sting of it. A lost job, a rejected proposal, a dream that didn’t quite pan out. And while it’s easy to romanticize failure in hindsight, when you’re standing in the thick of it, it feels like the ground has given way beneath your feet and you are standing in air. Which obviously means you’ll fall, you’re not Tom and Jerry. But here’s the thing… failure isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. Dealing with failure doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine or brushing off disappointment with toxic positivity. It means learning to sit with it, understand it, and eventually, grow through it. And let me tell you even I lost a job offer recently. So we’re even now, okay?
Failure Isn’t the Villain, Your Perspective Might Be
What If Failure Isn’t the Opposite of Success?
People too often treat failure like a big red stop sign that screams, “You weren’t good enough.” But what if it’s not a dead end, just a U-turn? According to psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., (yes, I did my research, gold star for me). Anyway, dealing with failure only turns into defeat when you decide it does. It’s not failure that breaks you, it’s the dramatic, doom-filled story you wrap around it, and I won’t sugarcoat it.
It’s like adding spice to that one very lame story. So, what do we do? You should shift your narrative. Instead of saying “I failed,” try “I learned.” Likewise, instead of “I wasn’t enough,” try “I’m not there yet.” That one word, yet, can change your mindset from fixed to flexible. And flexibility? That’s where real strength lies.
Dealing with Failure Hurts, But It’s Not Personal
Let’s be honest, rejection hurts. Maybe it was that job you really wanted or someone you hoped would choose you, but didn’t. It’s easy to start questioning yourself, thinking maybe you’re not good enough. But here’s where dealing with failure changes the game. Rejection isn’t a stop sign, it’s strength training for your emotional resilience. Think of it like hitting the gym. That burn you feel? It means growth.
The same goes for rejection. Every no you face works your mental muscles, pushing you to get sharper, tougher, more grounded, and maybe a bit nonchalant. It might not feel great in the moment, but over time, dealing with failure builds the kind of grit success is made of. If you pay too much attention to things that have already happened, you risk missing the lessons hidden in them.
So Let’s Say You Failed. Now What?
Look Back to Move Forward When Dealing with Failure
Tony M. Fountain, founder of Now Entertainment, swears by this one move after every flop, a postmortem analysis. Sounds intense? Maybe. But think of it as your personal debrief session. Grab a coffee, open your notes app or journal, and face the music head-on. Not to beat yourself up, but to figure things out.
Ask yourself-
- What did you expect to happen?
- Where did things start getting weird?
- Did you ignore feedback? Or just never ask for it?
- And the big one, what would you actually do differently if you had a do-over?
You’re not digging through failure for drama. You’re looking for clarity, maybe even a little closure. Because here’s the truth…dealing with failure isn’t about staying stuck in the box. It’s about pulling out the lessons and using them like jet fuel for your next move. Think of it as a bucket list or pros and cons list for the future.
Failure Is a Stepping Stone, But Only If You Let It Be
If you’ve got a growth mindset, you already know the secret. You’re not born with limits, you build your skills with effort, time, honest feedback, and no cheating, of course. You don’t treat failure like a dead-end. You treat it like a detour. One that might mess up your GPS for a second, but still gets you closer to where you’re headed. That’s the thing about dealing with failure. It’s not about avoiding the fall. It’s about knowing how to land, dust yourself off, and keep moving. So when life knocks you flat on your face, do yourself a favor. Don’t spiral. Say this instead, “Cool. That sucked. What now?” You’re not stuck. You’re just getting started.
Feel It, Face It, Flip It
Let’s be honest. You don’t wake up one day magically loaded with resilience. You build it. Bit by bit. On the good days, the bad ones, and especially the messy lines in between. Dealing with failure starts with handling your emotions like a grown-up. Not by bottling them up or pretending they don’t exist. You feel them. You name them. But you don’t let them hijack the whole show. Because bottling emotions will burst eventually, and the people who rise from failure know that emotional discipline isn’t just for survival, it’s a daily habit. In fact, it’s one of the subtle but powerful traits observed in the routines of billionaires who’ve mastered adversity. Their calm isn’t an accident. It’s a system.
Here’s what actually helps-
- Take a breath or five, give yourself some time.
- Write it out, even if it’s just a “this sucks” rant. Choose a person to ‘just’ be the listener.
- Talk to someone who doesn’t just say, “You’ll be fine.” I personally hate those kinds of people. I know I’ll be fine, but I need to panic first. So do you.
- Cut yourself some slack instead of playing the blame game. Because, Rahul…take a chill pill. I know easier said than done, but trying doesn’t hurt.
The Practical Way of Dealing with Failure
J.K. Rowling’s Journey to Success
Did you know 12 publishers rejected her billion-dollar series? Yes, you read that correctly, J.K. Rowling was rejected 12 times before becoming the best-selling author, and as you already know, her book series was later adapted into the movie franchise people are obsessed with, including me.
So, the moral of this short did you know fact is that you might be rejected a couple of times, but she was rejected 12 times, and that’s a lot to actually think, “Am I even worth it?” But she didn’t stop and landed a huge deal with Bloomsbury Publishing, 10 points to Gryffindor. So, take inspiration and don’t stop.
Colonel Sanders, It’s Finger Lickin’ Good! Recipe
You’ve probably heard about KFC, but do you know the story behind it? Colonel Harland Sanders was 65 when he started pitching his chicken recipe. Not five, not fifty, over 1,000 restaurants turned him down. That’s enough rejection to make anyone give up and go to sleep. But he didn’t. And eventually, one yes changed everything. So if you’re thinking it’s too late or too much, remember, he built a global empire with a pressure cooker and a ridiculous level of persistence at the ripe age of 65.
Honestly, if these oldies can do it, so can you.
Dealing with Failure Isn’t Fun, But It’s Worth It
Look, failures aren’t cute when they show up. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and occasionally brutal. But dealing with failure is what builds the version of you that’s confident and unshakable. The one who doesn’t quit after a few nos or a public flop. Whether you’re 25 or 65, fresh out of college or restarting after a job, it’s not over unless you decide it is. Take the lesson, lose the drama, trust your timing, and try again, because maybe the next one isn’t a failure. Maybe it’s your plot twist. Or better yet, your breakthrough. Because it’s your world and we’re just living in it.
Until we meet next, scroll!
