Waking from its slumber, Facebook has finally realized that hitting the ‘like’ button on unhappy stories of death, destruction, personal upheavals and crisis isn’t exactly appropriate. In wake of this realization, Mark Zuckerburg recently announced that a ‘dislike’ button that can be use to express empathy is in the offing. While the social networking site is mulling over new buttons, we say why stop at ‘dislike’ because life isn’t just about black and white, like and dislike. Here is Sociobits compilation of some innovative new Facebook buttons we could totally use:
There, there Button:
We all have that one friend – or one too many – who is forever stuck in whine-wine mode. Those who just can’t stop their passive-aggressive rant about the weather, traffic snarls, nagging mother-in-law, that princess cut diamond not being shiny enough and everything in between, usually between glasses of wine. You don’t really like their posts, you want to tell them to get a life instead. And we suggest a ‘there, there’ button to deal with such compulsive melancholics.
‘Not Funny’ Button:
Okay, memes are fun. Most often they crack us up for real. But some people don’t know where to stop, draw the line, and shut their trap. Facebook needs a ‘Not Funny’ button for the times people want to get their jollies from someone’s misery. The logic is pretty simple: comedians are susceptible to their audience’s opinions. Everybody is a comedian with Facebook. So if the audience wants to boo, they’ve got to be able to do that, too. An alternative is the ‘Explain that Joke’ button – most people who make jokes with cruelty as punchline are shown up when you say ‘I don’t get it, why is that funny?’ Or we could do a simple ‘BOOOO’ button.
This is for those friends who have been really going all out to impress that chick on Facebook and are later seen commenting on their love-struck posts involving another man. Just in case they still don’t get the message, hit the ‘friend-zoned’ button to tell them it is over. This should signal that it’s time for them to please just stop and either be a friend or go away, because it’s usually followed by a desperate need for the next button on the list.
If you have that guy friend (or girl friend) who likes everything you post instantly, never fails to comment even on posts that don’t concern them, shares your posts and totally crosses the line by liking all your friends’ posts as well, it definitely is a creep alert moment. And you could use a Creep button to set off the alarm bells. Of course, you could unfriend/block them too, but that’s another story.
Overload of baby pictures, relentless Candy Crush requests, constant status updates and check-ins, PDA that makes you cringe, we have seen it all on our Facebook wall. Maybe an ‘uncool’ button would help in getting the message across and letting those folks know they need to stop and now.
‘Too Much Information’ Button:
Okay, so you got some last night. Good for you, but we could have lived without having heard that at all. A ‘too much information’ button is much needed for people who can’t stop making a public display of their personal life. And no, they don’t get subtle hints, so we’re leaving subtle behind.