Sarah stared at her laptop, watching the resignation letter from her best team member arrive in her inbox. This was the 4th resignation letter in a span of just 2 months. She had been recently promoted as the team manager, she spent countless hours on reading every leadership advice, but yet the productivity in her department had plummeted. Moreover, the whole workspace had a negative and toxic atmosphere. She could not figure out why everything was falling apart.
Sarah was always on the go, always trying to look for solutions. But this time she did something different, she decided to sit in silence with her thoughts. She asked herself “What am I doing wrong?”.
This small step, which had a moment of self-reflection not only changed her leadership style but her entire career trajectory. Today, she leads a team of 20 people, where the work environment is positive and everyone’s almost always productive.
The Mirror Most Leaders Avoid
The truth is that most leaders squirm at the thought of self reflecting. But why? Because it’s not easy. It’s taking accountability of things. It requires you to look honestly at your decisions, behaviors, and impact on others. Moreover, unlike technical skills or strategic thinking, self reflection demands vulnerability, which can be hard to show. It is often something counterintuitive when it comes to people with positions of power.
While reflecting externally is half of the work- like analyzing market trends, focusing on team performance. The other half of the work is reflecting internally- examining their own work that includes both successes and failures.
A Research from the Center of Creative Leadership, shows that 75% of careers are derailed not due to lack of technical skills, but because of poor self-awareness and interpersonal issues. If you want to be a great leader, the first step when things go wrong or right would be to look into the mirror.
The Four Pillars of Reflective Leadership
Self Reflection isn’t just sitting in silence and thinking about what can be done to make things better. It is a structured practice that develops four crucial leadership capabilities:
1. Emotional Intelligence
Understanding patterns and triggers is what reflective leaders do. They observe and note how their moods affect decision making and team dynamics. Let’s take an example from Sarah’s story- she observed that she got impatient in long meetings, then she started scheduling shorter team meets. This way she improved 2 things- her focus and her team’s engagement.
2. Decision Quality
Reflecting on past decisions, both good and bad, helps creating valuable database of experience. This way you’ll always know what works well with the team and what doesn’t, and it’ll also give you an opportunity to not make the same mistake.
3. Authentic Communication
Accountability and feedback goes both ways. It is not just a requirement of a team member. A leader who is transparent about his mistakes and vocally acknowledges his team, creates a psychological safety for his/ her team.
4. Adaptive Growth
The one thing constant in this world is change, so a leader who adapts to changes fast, and who continuously assess whether their approaches still serve their goals, are the ones who will not fail.
Building Your Reflection Practice
I have laid down few steps that you can incorporate in your reflection practice-
- Schedule Daily Check-ins– Set aside 10-15 mins daily to check in, here the consistency matters. Everyday ask yourself and note down what you think went well, what didn’t, and what you learned.
- Seek Feedback Actively– You need to be aware of what others think as well, so you have to create opportunities for honest feedback. Make sure you ask specific questions like “How could I have supported you better this week?” instead of just generic questions like “How am I doing?”.
- Practice the 24-Hour Rule– What this rule requires you do is you have to give yourself 24 hours to reflect, before reacting to challenging situations. It makes sure your reaction is not haste and gives you time to respond more effectively.
Your Journey of Self Reflection Must Start Now
The truth is that everyone makes mistakes. That’s what makes them humans. There’s no leader that doesn’t make mistakes, the most successful leaders are those that learn from their mistakes. Leadership development is an inside job, which requires them to put in good amount of efforts, to stay consistent and honestly self- examine.
Start today. Ask yourself: “What kind of leader am I becoming?” The answer might surprise you, challenge you, and ultimately transform you.
Good leadership not only makes successful companies but also creates a positive work environment. Your team is watching, waiting for you to grow. Building that growth also means sharpening your ability to connect and inspire. Learn why soft skills are now power skills in the AI age.
