300+ Funny WhatsApp Status That Will Make People Go ROFL!


Everyone in their free time goes through their contact list on WhatsApp. Some see profile pictures and some read your status. So make that read worth a while! But it is not easy to find a funny status that people stop and invest their time in it. So, we have a big list of more than 300 WhatsApp statuses. Also check our Instagram bios, TikTok Captions, Witty Instagram Captions. Also, we tried generating Instagram bios from ChatGPT. Updating the Funny status of WhatsApp or altering it sometimes defines your way of life or manner towards life. This updating standing thought-provoking and can be fun, if you can handle it smartly and neatly. Now find the best status for yourself and make people notice your presence in their contacts.

  1. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
  2. “I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.”
  3. Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
  4. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.”
  5. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
  6. You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.
  7. “I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.”
  8. “I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.”
  9. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for my future endeavors.”
  10. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  11. “I’m not lazy, I’m just saving my energy for the things that matter.”
  12. “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view.”
  13. Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.
  14. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just very skilled at being uncoordinated.”
  15. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  16. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘I need coffee to function’ person.”
  17. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just choosing to prioritize my own happiness.”
  18. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
  19. “I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.”
  20. My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
  21. I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.
  22. “I’m not lazy, I’m just waiting for the right motivation.”
  23. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘why is the sun up so early’ person.”
  24. I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
  25. Be smarter than your smartphone.
  26. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong enough to admit it.”
  27. “I’m not fat, I’m just vertically challenged.”
  28. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  29. “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately discussing why I’m right.”
  30. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my awesomeness.”
  31. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my time wisely.”
  32. “I’m not weird, I’m just a unique individual.”
  33. “I’m not lazy, I’m just strategically conserving energy.”
  34. “I’m not arguing, I’m just expressing my strong opinions.”
  35. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘please don’t talk to me until I’ve had coffee’ person.”
  36. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
  37. I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
  38. Hey there! WhatsApp is using me.Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely
  39. Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.
  40. Lazy Rule: Can’T Reach It. Don’t Need It.
  41. Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping
  42. I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.
  43. Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.
  44. Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
  45. With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.
  46. Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female
  47. I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me?
  48. If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel.
  49. Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing.
  50. Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.51.Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.
  51. There’s Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason
  52. Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You.
  53. When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.
  54. As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
  55. I Am Brilliant Brunette With lots of blonde moments.
  56. Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.
  57. The Four Words A Girl Most Want To Hear. I Bought You Food.
  58. You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’Ll Train You.
  59. If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.
  60. I Don’T Have A Bucket List But My Bucket List Is A Mile Long.
  61. I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
  62. It’s Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring
  63. I Love My Six Pack So Much. I Protect It With A Layer Of Fat.
  64. Oh! I Am Sorry. I Forgot. But I Only Exist When You Need Something.
  65. An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough.
  66. Please God If You Can’t Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.
  67. I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.
  68. Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.
  69. My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed. lots Of Blond Moments.
  70. Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’T Sorry. You Are Safe.
  71. Kiss Me If I’M Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right?
  72. If You Tickle Me, I’M Not Responsible For Your Injuries.
  73. Sometimes You Just Want To Throw Fertilizer At People So They Grow Up.
  74. God Made Every Person Differently. He Got Tired By The Time He Got To China.
  75. If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.
  76. I’M Going To Bed Really Means I’M Going To Lie In Bed And Go On My Phone
  77. My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit.
  78. Sleeping Is My Drug. My Bed Is My Dealer & My Alarm Clock Is The Police.
  79. My Goal This Weekend Is To Move Only Enough So People Know I’M Not Dead.
  80. If You Say You’Re Cooler Than Me….Does That Make Me Hotter Than You?
  81. I Wish I Lived In A World Wher Mosquitoes Would Such Fat Instead Of Blood.
  82. When I Was A Kid I Used To Think The Moon Followed Our Car Everywhere.
  83. So, you’re checking my status
  84. Hey there! WhatsApp is using me.
  85. Battery low, please disturb later.
  86. Hey, you are reading my status again?
  87. WAIT! Do you have appointment to see my status?
  88. Not always Available. Try your luck.
  89. For Sale: BRAIN. Used less, Perfect working condition!
  90. SALARY – Something which comes at 2G speed and goes away at 4G speed.
  91. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.
  92. If you can’t convince them confuse them.
  93. Please God if you can’t make me slim make my friends FAT!!!
  94. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
  95. I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.
  96. If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
  97. My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
  98. Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
  99. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up!
  100. I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  101. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
  102. I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended. Please be patient I will get to you shortly. Lol 😉
  103. Having one child makes you a parent; Having two you are a referee.
  104. Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
  105. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
  106. I’m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
  107. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.
  108. Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over.
  109. The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.
  110. I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
  111. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
  112. I didn’t lose my mind… I just sold it online!
  113. I’m born to express, not to impress.
  114. I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
  115. I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
  116. I’m not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
  117. I am not single; I’m just Romantically Challenged.
  118. Don’t try to fix me I’m not broken.
  119. Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.
  120. Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
  121. Every time I have my picture taken; I get hungry because I hear ‘cheese’ so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.
  122. I love sleeping but I never want to go to sleep early.
  123. At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.
  124. I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me from me.
  125. Don’t worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.
  126. My road to success is always under construction.
  127. I Smile Because I have No Idea What’s Going on!
  128. I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.
  129. I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  130. Whenever I have a problem, I just sing. Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
  131. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  132. I wish my wallet came with free refills.
  133. Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90-year-old, the body of a 20-year-old, and the energy of a 3-year-old.
  134. Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
  135. Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
  136. Life gives hurdles, but I am an athlete. So, it’s fun.
  137. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  138. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  139. You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
  140. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  141. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
  142. Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship. :p
  143. Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.
  144. Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”
  145. Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  146. Brain: Be patient. Heart: Until when?
  147. When You’re Downie Eat a Brownie!
  148. When nothing goes right, go left.
  149. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
  150. Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my WhatsApp status.
  151. Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.
  152. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
  153. The richer you get; the more expensive happiness becomes.
  154. If Plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.
  155. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
  156. Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.
  157. Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar!!
  158. Always Give 100%, Unless You’re Donating Blood.
  159. I Was reminded that my blood type is BE POSITIVE!
  160. I am blood type O-positive, which I remember by staying ‘optimistic positive.’
  161. It’s not the fault of the mirror if you don’t like your reflection.
  162. A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.
  163. Never judge the book by its movie.
  164. It’s always the wrong person who teaches you the right things in life.
  165. When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wi-Fi so people will visit more often.
  166. Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.
  167. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
  168. A man in not rewarded for having a brain but for using it well.
  169. Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
  170. The only thing I gained so far in this year is weight!
  171. I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  172. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
  173. “3 words more beautiful for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today”
  174. Exercise? I Thought You Said Extra Fries!
  175. Life taught me a lot of lessons, but I bunked those classes too
  176. I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
  177. I made a huge to do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
  178. Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately, she is a mother and we should respect her!
  179. I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
  180. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
  181. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
  182. I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
  183. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
  184. I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
  185. I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
  186. My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  187. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
  188. Sorry, I can’t go to work tomorrow, I fractured my motivation.
  189. My boss told me to have a good day… So, I went home.
  190. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
  191. My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
  192. Choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
  193. Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
  194. I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.
  195. I don’t follow others; I only follow my orders because I am my own boss.
  196. Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
  197. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
  198. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me… I can’t force you to be right.
  199. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
  200. Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
  201. I never insult people I only tell them what they are.
  202. If someone hates you for no reason give them a reason.
  203. I am not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too.
  204. I know I am awesome, so I don’t care about your opinion.
  205. I can’t believe I work this hard to be this poor.
  206. I was born intelligent, but education ruined me.
  207. I don’t need the Prince Charming to have my own happy ending.
  208. The most common cause of stress nowadays is dealing with idiots.
  209. I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.
  210. I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St.
  211. Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite
  212. Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed?
  213. The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
  214. I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad!
  215. I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.
  216. That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die.
  217. During The Day, I Don’t Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.
  218. I’M Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.
  219. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.
  220. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  221. If people are talking behind your back,  that’s a good time to fart.
  222. Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
  223. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
  224. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
  225. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  226. I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
  227. My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
  228. Dyslexics are teople poo.
  229. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  230. Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
  231. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
  232. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
  233. “Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
  234. Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
  235. Hey there! You are using WhatsApp.
  236. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.
  237. Be smarter than your smartphone.
  238. If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.
  239. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  240. It’s not that I don’t want to go to work.  I’m just allergic to crushing defeat.
  241. Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with.
  242. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  243. I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
  244. I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke.
  245. I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
  246. Hey there! WhatsApp is using me.
  247. I’m not saying you’ve got problems, but have you tried turning yourself off and rebooting?
  248. I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
  249. If at first you don’t succeed, we have a lot in common.
  250. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  251. Fair warning: I know karate. …and some other words.
  252. True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically.
  253. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
  254. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  255. My job is secure. No one else wants it.
  256. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  257. I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.
  258. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
  259. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  260. I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
  261. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
  262. Status unavailable. Please reload and try again.
  263. I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
  264. I named my dog “6 Miles” so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
  265. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  266. I want to be invited but I don’t want to go.
  267. She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
  268. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
  269. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  270. Welcome to WhatsApp.  Our specials tonight are grouper and chicken ala king.
  271. I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter, and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
  272. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  273. I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”.
  274. Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
  275. I salute all my haters with my middle finger.
  276. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  277. Me? Sarcastic? Never.
  278. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
  279. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!
  280. Today I have the motivation of a potato.  Don’t hold your breath for a response.
  281. I see that you’re online.  I am online too.  Wanna, like, chat?
  282. I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean I guess.
  283. My son asked me what it’s like to be married, so I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
  284. I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
  285. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
  286. You think I’m cute when I’m mad? Well, buckle up sweet cheeks – I’m about to get freakin’ adorable.
  287. You seem to be on your own path. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it.
  288. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
  289. Never laugh at your partner’s choices… You’re one of them.
  290. It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
  291. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  292. An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist is afraid this might be true.
  293. I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
  294. Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we’re married and live together so I’d have to see them every day.
  295. “I’m going to bed” really means… “I’m going to lie in my bed and look at my phone.”
  296. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  297. It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
  298. Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose “impossible” mode.
  299. I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
  300. In search of sleep, sanity, and the Shire.
  301. Born at a very young age.
  302. I deserve a medal every day I don’t stab someone with a fork.
  303. I like hashtags because they look like waffles #.
  304. I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock.
  305. What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
  306. Sausage puns are the wurst.
  307. If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.
  308. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down.
  309. My last words will be “I left a million dollars under the…”
  310. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
  311. The best things in life are not things.
  312. Sarcasm: a way to insult idiots without them realizing it.
  313. My life is about as organized as a $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
  314. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  315. i dont beleife in spele chek.
  316. Not all men are fools; some stay single.
  317. I haven’t failed, my success is just postponed until later.
  318. The earth’s rotation really makes my day.
  319. I recently gave up Warcraft, so my productivity and drinking have increased dramatically.
  320. Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
  321. We go together like drunk and disorderly!
  322. Oops… I used WhatsApp again!
  323. Oh, I’m sorry, was my sass too much for you?
  324. The show was called Spongebob Squarepants, but everyone knows the star was Patrick.
  325. The wheel’s still turning but the hamster is dead.
  326. You drink too much and gossip too much. Let’s be friends.
  327. I told the doctor that I’d broken my arm in several places. He said not to go to those places.
  328. Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
  329. Asking me if I want another drink is like asking me if I want some money.
  330. If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, that would be an amazing coincidence.
  331. Scratch here to see my status.
  332. There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
  333. Putting the “hot” in “psychotic.”
  334. I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
  335. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
  336. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s alright now.
  337. Knock knock!  Who’s there?  Obviously not me.  Get over it.
  338. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said concentrate!
  339. Time flies after you hit the snooze button.
  340. Nice guys finish lunch.
  341. I need to go to Wal-Mart but I can’t find my pajamas.
  342. WiFi, food, my bed. Perfection.
  343. After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

We are sure you will find at least one status interesting from this big and long list of funny status for WhatsApp by Sociobits. Make people read it and might there be chances they could even text you. Or it will at least bring a little smile on their face and will remember it all their life long.

Read more

Recommended For You